Monday, August 15, 2016

So, it's been two years since I first worked as a backgrounds colorist and I'm doing ok at work. Can't really say great, but ok. xD It's a dream to be getting paid to color things~

Probelm is, I would doodle less. It's been quite some time since I last drew something seriously or since I held the pencil to learn the fundamentals. During my free time, I'd rest. I would doodle on my sketchpad sometimes but they're all aimless scribbles and I would doodle the same things over and over again, with little to no improvement. I don't have the time to sit down and learn something new and just thinking about it tires me. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and the thirst to improve is just... gone? Well, the thirst is there but I don't think my body can keep up. Also, my number one priority lately is to earn. So I guess I can count that as a factor.

Why is this bothering me thought? I thought that it is important for me to learn the fundamentals if I am pursuing a career in the arts since I just let go of my dream to be a litigator. I chose this so I need to build my skills.
(Also, I really hate how my drawings look like right now and sometimes I feel like people praise me for my work as a pat on the back saying "good job for trying. points for effort" and that they don't genuinely like my stuff.. but that's just me. I hope.). I didn't really bother to study the fundamentals seriously when I was younger because I didn't  expect I'd land a job as an artist. It's always been a "highly discouraged career path" in our country, that's why I would say pursuing this kind of career is a hit or miss thing. You either capture an audience that will like your stuff, or you don't. And I think that's where the success of an artist is gauged. What is an artist without people who appreciate and who eventually purchase their art?

But then, I see many artists who start out at a later age. Age shouldn't really stop me from learning.

I'm really at this point where I'm not happy with my drawings anymore. Although I post some quick doodles on facebook and sometimes on twitter, I want to do more. I want to learn how to illustrate. I want to make stunning illustrations or covers for novels or books. I want to see my art in products. I want people to pay me for drawing sexy and kinky cartoony girls. I want to feel appreciated for my art, and that I'm not wasting my time.

Maybe when it's less hectic at work, I will really sit down and study.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Warm up doodles at work~

YEEEEP I'm working~ as a background painter/artist at an animation company!
These are warmup doodles during break time.
o w o

I can't post anything about the projects we're currently doing 'cause we're under a non-disclosure agreement with the company and the shows... yah know.. all those legal stuff (btw I quit lawschool = A = I'm currently enjoying my work tho. I'll go back and study again some other time... IF I find the heart to continue where I left off).

SO THERE WE GO~ doodles!

OH and I've been watching New Girl lately o A o YES I'M WATCHING IT JUST NOW gdi I'm so behind. haha It's pretty nice and funny o v o

ok that's it for now


Tuesday, March 4, 2014

An Old and Unfinished Painting

Started sometime in 2011. Still remains unfinished and I'll never get it done. :(
Acrylic on canvas.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Visual Rants

"If only they could speak for themselves. But they can't so we'll have to do it for them."


I swear they looked better in my head. Haha. These were in my head since breakfast and I had to wait 'till I'm at home and about to sleep before I could put 'em on paper. It frustrates me how little I can do for our planet. And my inability to clearly explain my frustrations, frustrates me even more. Haha.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Carpe Diem

'Cause I don't want to give a fuck anymore.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Some of my latest sketches and doodles and a pretty long... err.. whine

Yep! I'm sketching again! :D not as regular as before but much frequent than when I started studying law. I kind of stopped 'cause I thought it's not helping me with my studies. It even distracts me sometimes. But still, dropping it and ignoring my itch to draw didn't help me either. I'll get to that later.

A LOT has happened. 2013 wasn't exactly a great year for me academically and socially. Weeeell...we win some, we lose some xD 

Academically: Unfortunately, I got kicked out of law school (bad grades) and I'm currently taking it up in another school. Still law. Same books, same laws, different place/ environment. I was accepted but under the condition that I must reach a certain grade which is higher than the usual average. Now, I'm just letting the winds of fate take me.
My drive and want to be an attorney is strong. I know it. But the grip I have to my reasons isn't. I keep on forgetting them and mostly are idealistic.
Like i said earlier, I thought ignorning my itch to doodle will help me concentrate and eventually, lessen the pains of lawschool but, my exam scores didn't get any higher. Guess I'm not intelligent enough for law school. Oh and personality-wise, I can't fit-in. Haha.
I just took my first midterm exams in my new school last week. I hope I did better than how I faired in my previous school.

Socially: Lost a couple of buddies (my fault). It's tough being a girl. Haha.

Sometimes, I'm tempted to leave everything behind, start anew but alone. Meet new people, get to know a new place. I'm just entirely confused right now. Confused, concieted, selfish and overwhelmed. Since graduating from college, I feel so lost. Hm... yeah. I guess that sums it all up. I'm lost. :(

I still don't know what to do with my life.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Watercolor Mermaids

And flowers xD

I drew these during theChristmas break :)